Monday, May 4, 2009


I know. I have a great thing going. And I should feel grateful. 
But after a long time I guess I was still hoping for better answers. 
I guess, if it's not there the first time around, you really shouldn't ask for it. 

I just want a story. But I guess it didn't start out the way I wished it would.
Nagging feeling that it's my fault.

It's like.. I don't know.. Ice cream.

A triple scoop sundae.
You have chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry.
You don't like strawberry, you'd much rather have mint
But since Vanilla and Chocolate are your favorites, you don't complain.
The strawberry's at the very bottom anyway.

And besides, you have sprinkles.

And wafers.

And as you keep eating, you get to add more toppings.

You get chocolate syrup.

And cookie bits.
And it's all very nice. 

Some kids get two flavors, and not that many toppings, so you feel remarkably blessed.
But every now and then.. 

You keep looking for mint.

It seems shallow to complain.

But you keep looking for Mint.
Everytime you taste a bit of strawberry, it gets you a wee bit upset.
But you feel bad, why let a tiny bit of strawberry get in the way of other perfectly good toppings, right?

Then you see another kid.
They have mint.
And, maybe, chocolate syrup.
Nothing else.

You feel a teensy bit jealous. 
And guilty.
But you'll keep eating anyway, because if you don't, then that's a bit ungrateful, don't you think?

I wish I had a better story.
And I feel awful and ungrateful.

I keep tasting that damned strawberry.
I'm so sorry.
[It's a GREAT sundae, otherwise.]

"It took him 9 months to ask her out."

This isn't the fault of some crappy music video.
[I wish it were.]
Something better than that.

Real life.
(i guess that's why it hurts so much)

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