toner habits

"Smoking girl" by budluvinpreacher@deviantart.com

What was she doing during Earth Hour?
(Damn that.)
Mcdonalds Katipunan had the lights off.
[Outside,anyway.]
She was smoking someone's first pack.
And left to contemplate on the mortality of everything.

****

photoset2vol6 by lapoupee@deviantart.com

Don't give me a lecture.
That's the last thing I need.
Those damned emo kids write bad poetry.
(What rhymes with "heart" or "rip?")


I like too much eyeliner,though.

****

a drink by radiantblow@devaintart.com

There's no need to be cut up and alone.
When you can be glamorously be undone.
Let's leave it at that.

Facebook person.

"The perfect girl to be one of those rich, snotty Upper East Side women is definitely Paige. Not that she's snotty, okay. I just think she fits the profile. She is a barbecue stick. Oh wait she was. Now she's got thin strips of barbecue on the stick. Okay, that wasn't an original statement. I love listening to her talk about Paddy because she's so animated. And Paddy sounds adorable. So does his family." - A Facebook note by Rowhe Rodriguez

First of all, Rowhe, thank you. :) I don't know exactly why I fit the profile, but it's flattering to a fault.

To be associated with the Upper East side gets to me in a good way. I take this as a sign. It says Paige, you belong in New York. Im working on that. Really really.

Next would be this...

It gets to me that almost everything Paige-related is ultimately Paddy related as well. And that sucks. Maybe it's my fault for talking about him a lot, but I really can't help it. I promise to shut up about him online or in real life. Unless it's crucial information. Besides, HE'S NOT HERE. He says he reads my blog but he left like, one comment. His "online presence" is mostly thanks to me. I get an average of THREE text messages a day and the occasional phone call. Paolo said my love life is "makulay". That's because I only point out the good stuff. I've been too optimistic for too long I guess. He might not even transfer here next year. Where does that leave me? Alone. For the next three years. I can't do that.

I'm not the quintessential hopeless romantic 17-year old. I have the brain of a thirty-something woman, so my grandmother says. I am not the girl who stays around all day pining for a text message. THIS BITES. I love Paddy. I do. But I'm 17 damnit. I can't be tied down like this forever. I don't want to wait until it all goes too far. I need this fixed. I'm starting to think I'm too young for this.

17 months. :]

I couldn't find words. So I guess here it goes. I know we're not getting married yet, but still... I miss you. These are the most beautiful words I've heard in a while. They're yours now.

****

{From Grey's Anatomy, Preston Burke's wedding vows.}

"Cristina, I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you.

I could promise to be there, in sickness and in health.

I could say till death do us part.

But I won't.

Those vows are for optimistic couples,

the ones full of hope.

I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope.

I am not optimistic.

I am not hopeful.

I am sure.

I am steady.

I'm a heart man.

Take 'em apart,

put 'em back together,

hold them in my hands.

I am a heart man.

So this, I am sure.

You are my partner.

My lover.

My very best friend.

My heart.

My heart beats for you.

And on this day,

the day of our wedding, I

promise you this.

I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands,

I promise you...

me."

*****

[This one you know very well. Yvaine? Stardust. :) ]

But to see the way that mankind loves...

You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.

So yes, I know that love is unconditional.

But I also know it can be unpredictable,

unexpected,

uncontrollable,

unbearable

and strangely easy to mistake for loathing,

and...

What I'm trying to say, Tristan, is...

I think I love you.

My heart...

It feels like my chest can barely contain it.

Like it doesn't belong to me any more.

It belongs to you.

And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange.

No gifts.

No goods.

No demonstrations of devotion.

Nothing but knowing you loved me too.

Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Almost there.

Chem 16 third long is done with. FINITO.

I have to work on my collection [TONIGHT. PROMISE.]
And I have the finals to worrk about, as well as my OPLAN and my compilation.
As well as the PT and the policies for the Corps of Sponsors.


So much to do. So little time. It bugs me. At least each day brings me closer and closer to summer. So i guess that's fair.

Some good things, though: I got a 94 in the last bio exam so I guess I'm exempted from the finals! YEAHH. And I have an UNO standing on the tests part. That's a MAJOR PLUS.

Another good thing is that I GOT INTO IE CLUB. After that really bad interview. So thank you, IE club. :]


I'm really really scared about my CW10 grade,though. Missing five weeks of classes is sure to piss my teacher off. Maybe he hasn't noticed. Whatever. If I do fail CW10, well... Whatever. I don't even care anymore. I'm scared.


****

And that something.. Well, build on it next time. Swatches a-callin'. 'Sup bitches?

holes in my tights

Red Bull through my bloodstream

And I don't look cool doing it.

I sound like a bad Paramore song.

:[


Oh well. As everyone knows, im stressed as hell.

So here's tonights GAMEPLAN:

MCDO CRAMMING/CHIKA/SUNDAE FEST with Zaldy

then sleepover at Nikki's.

Sounds like a PASS CHEM FAST PLAN. NOT.

Damn. It's like I'm saying: FAIL ME! NOW!

Oh well.Whatever. At least I'll have fun doing it. :]

Zaldy's printing out my handouts for me.

They cost nothing but a night out.


OHWELL.


Here are SOME pics of that EHEADS NIGHT.
More next time,loves.




With friends like that, who needs to cram?










credits:neanderpoy.multiply.com

Top three boys. :]

MY TOP THREE BOYS/MEN

Don't change them!
- Enter their names in order
- Be honest
- Repost this so your friends can do
it to
BOYS put down your top GIRLS
GIRLS put down your top BOYS

1. PADDY. DUH.
2. Zeke (okay. sige. fine. nag tag eh. :) )
3. William Patrick (bcoz i know you're reading this right now.)

1. Would you date any of them?
already dating number 1, not really number 2 [peace! haha. weird 'yun eh.], and will marry number 3 if i'm still single by age 35.5 :)

2. Are you older than 2?
TSSYEAH. Zeke's a kid. :)

3. How did you meet 1?
Paddy's one of the best things in high school. :)

5. Do all three of them know each
other?
Ish. except for two and three [they don't know each other]. but they all know paddy waddy exists. :) popular sya eh. hahaha

6. Where is number 1 right now?
My heart. HAHAHAHA. WHOAA. joketime. Cebu,baby.

7. Have you kissed any of them? If so,
who?
William and PADDY! Haha. Sorry zeke. Again. Missing out on all ze action. :p


8. Who have you known the longest?
Paddybaby. :]

9. Who have you known the shortest?
William. Haha. like, 5 months ago. :p

10. Who did you talk to last?
Williaaam. We talked about our wedding plans. :)

11. Have you been to any of their
houses?
Paddy's three houses and tita's house. William-Duh. Surigao (Siargao.. :) ) so sa Molave lng. Dorm ni Zeke. :P

13. Are you taller than 3?
Hmmm. malapit naaa. :)


14. Who's most likely to repost this?
WALA. :]


15. Is any of the top 3 your family?
Paddy's my husband. William loves me like a younger sister. And Zeke seems to be under the impression that i'm an aunt. wweeeirdooo. :]

16. Have any of them ever seen you cry?
ALL THREE BABY. HAHAHA. They really wouldn't be in my top 3 if they didn't. :)

17. Would they be there for you?
So far.. YEAHH. Lalo na si number one. :] and william carries my shtuff and buys me food. yum!

20. Whom do you talk to the most?
Nowadays, si william. Paddy nightly calls only. William an i have a radio show. We could go on FOREVER.

21. Who knows the most about you?
Paddy. Hands down. Hahaha. :)

24. Does have the same b-day as you?
Naaaw.

25. Would you go to jail to protect
number 1,or 2 ?
HMMM.. Yeahh. but Paddy won't approve of it. Come to think of it, niether would wanna see me in jail. :P

26. Do you know # 2's middle name?
Uhhh. TROUBLE. :] tama?

28. Do you go to school with number 2?
used to. :p

29. Is number 1 a really good friend?
And boyfriend. :) Hi, Paddy!


30. Are you dating number 2?
Haha.. nawww.

32. Whom are you closest with?
Paddy. Duh. BOYFRIEND.

There you go. :] GTG na. :)

awesomezeke's number one girl. :]

okay. since i was dumped recently, i needed an ego boost.

thank goodness for zeke.
HAHAHAHA

SO IM REPOSTING THIS BCOZ IM AM SUPER FLATTERED.

[indulge me. i have very human needs. :) ]

MY TOP 3 GALS(pisay onli)

Don't change them!
- Enter their names in order
- Be honest
- Repost this so your friends can do
it to
BOYS put down your top GIRLS
GIRLS put down your top BOYS

• pAigEy!
• kathleen...(longno)
• crush ko eh! (so white and pretty..)
  

1. Would you date any of them?
yeahhhh.... but paigey has a bf

2. Are you older than 2?
nope.. younger than all of them

3. How did you meet 1?
uhmm, a set of weird but welcome coincidences including but not limited to yfc, the lib, cutting class and paris

5. Do all three of them know each
other?
guro eh..

6. Where is number 1 right now?
manila probably... ambut really diin sa mla

7. Have you kissed any of them? If so,
who?
nada.zilch.zip.nein.ich nicht kussen.


8. Who have you known the longest?
probly number 1

9. Who have you known the shortest?
number 3... i have a crush on her though... nothing definite...

10. Who did you talk to last?
number two

11. Have you been to any of their
houses?
nope... wait, does a dorm count?

13. Are you taller than 3?
yup! yeah go tall people! hisa gd iban da...


14. Who's most likely to repost this?

some loser with a lot of free time on their hands... wahaha i'm such a hypocrite...


15. Is any of the top 3 your family?
no.NO! well, i consider paige to be my big sister, aunt and rebellious cousin...

16. Have any of them ever seen you cry?
no. NO! STILL NO!

17. Would they be there for you?
ambut. doubtful.

20. Whom do you talk to the most?
dunno.. but if it was least then it would be..... paige bcuz we're so far from each other

21. Who knows the most about you?
paigey guro eh. told her a few things when i was first year.

24. Does have the same b-day as you?
no.

25. Would you go to jail to protect
number 1,or 2 ?
yeah, pero mas dako chance nga ipa-jail ko because of something I did

26. Do you know # 2's middle name?
uhm, not sure..

28. Do you go to school with number 2?
i go to the same school with all of them(well, used to anyway... now its just 2 and 3)

29. Is number 1 a really good friend?

huo eh.


30. Are you dating number 2?
not yet.trying to... LOL

32. Whom are you closest with?

ambut. but if she were here, pirme lng kmi guro upoday ni number 1 somewhere, mabe the lib...

NOTE TO SELF:

“It always seems impossible until its done.”







Credits: summer escape by exoticpeach

Okay

Okay. No internet. AGAIN. So I’m typing this one on Word and whoknowswhen I could post this one up again. Time check: 2327H of 12 March 2009.

I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS TO DO.

AND I’M PROCASTINATING.

Here is my to-do list BEFORE I could rest easy for the lalala summertime.

Chem16: Third and FINAL exam.

[STUDY.STUDY.STUDY]

Bio1: Third Exam and I’m good to go. Yay! J

CT15: TERM PAPER

10-figure Collection

Finals

French10: Final exams and quizzes every meeting.

CW10: Compilation of everything you’ve ever done (SohelpmeGod.)

Soc. Sci. 3: Exam and T-SHIRT.

[as of this moment t-shirt plans on hold as 700 is waaaay too much to pay for one single shirt!]

And of course… THE CORPS OF SPONSORS

-OPLAN

-Uniforms

So what the heck am I doing complaining instead of working? Good point.

Don't pass out with your shoes on. :)

Because I'm sooo happy to be having TWO followers, I felt inspired to blog (instead of working on them papers.) Hahaha. SOOO... I particularly enjoyed that new song. Sorry. Just heard about Asher Roth. :))

Here you go:

********

ONE: A NEW STORY! YEAHHH

PAIGE WONDERGIRL: THE ACCIDENT.

This is Paige. A normal girl.
Doing normal things.
In her normal Chem class.








One day, they had an experiment.
And when no one was looking...




















Paige decided to add a special chemical...
CHEMICAL X102609!







OH NO! LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING WENT HORRIBLY WRONG!















She dropped her engagement ring into the dangerous solution!
WHAT DOES SHE DO NOW!?








Left with no choice, she reaches in and takes it out.

PHEW! Got it. :)









Oh dear. What's this?










Are those her hands??












NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Her hands!!!










WHAT DOES OUR WONDERGIRL DO NOW?







FIND OUT ON OUR NEXT EPISODE!








SNEAK PEEK:





Her hands seem to be taking on a life of their own!










Will she be able to take the antidote in time!??!



**********

TWO: i LOVE college. :)

Zeke, this one's right up your alley.
You should be in college,kid. :]

That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat then do it again
Man, I love college


I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Banker's Club and drink Miller Lite
On Thirsty Thursday and Tuesday Night Ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice


*******

one day the rest of the world comes crashing down

and you're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I just want to go away for a while.

****

Starting tomorrow
it's all grass stains and sleeping on floors
Even the Baudelaire orphans had a sanctuary.

credits:rubenasecas@deviantart.com

i love you because you're my bacon baby

"Choir practice babe...6 to whoknowswhen"

Paddy has been very busy these days.
Their choir is putting on a concert.

Choir practice.
Choir practice.
Choir practice.

I support each and every endeavor that he undertakes but sometimes I just want my boyfriend all to myself.

Oh well.
At least he's at choir practice.

Word post

Since there is no internet (the bitchin’ network won’t let me access it!) I have no idea when you people can ever read this. That’s just plain sad I know. But there’s not much I can do except maybe pray really hard that it gets fixed by tomorrow. What else is there for me to say? Today’s date is March 4, 2009. It’s 8:42 p.m. Let’s see when I can get to post this, okay??

Now, I really have no idea what to say seeing as how things are pretty sucky as of this moment. I guess this is God’s way of making sure I do my term paper instead of slaving away in front of the laptop doing completely useless stuff. But whatever.. I DO have a lot to do though.

One good thing about today is that I FINALLY got that thing that I wanted but didn’t wanna say out loud coz it might get cursed.

I HAVE NEW NYLON!!! Yes. You heard/read that right. After months of waiting for NYLON to show up in the SC’s bookstore, they FINALLY got a new copy. And it’s on my bed as we speak. Okay, it’s not necessarily new per se, but the only things they got are the back issues. Girlfriend’s in the third world, remembah? So even if I can’t get my skinny little fingers on a new issue, I’m very much contented with the back issues. My current “new ” one is the September 2k8 one. The one with the 90210 girls on the cover. No, I don’t mean Tori Spelling.

Jessica Stroup looked freakin’ hot! Then again, she always does.

I have a toothache. And it actually hurt a teensy bit more when I typed that one out. *sigh*

I wish my boyfriend were here so he could do something to ease the life’s a bitch vibe brought about by the internet connection (or my lack thereof) and the excruciating (okay, a leeetle bit exaggerated but whatevs) bone ache I’m having… He always makes me feel loads better.

I remember one time when I was on my first day of my period. I had cramps and I was getting royally pissed with the world. I was upset about every little thing! So I took it out on Paddywaddy (this isn’t the first time). I remember trying to break up over a text message that came thirty seconds after I expected it. I wanted him to call. I wanted him to reply to my text messages with lightning speed. I called him names, spit out swear words like a sailor, and suspected him of cheating on me. Needless to say, I was girlfriend from hell. What did Paddy do? He’d tell me he understands that I’m on my period that’s why I’m having mood swings blah blah blah.. Why don’t I take a nap? Naturally, that pissed me off even more! But I did get a long and angry nap, and when I woke up I felt loads better and Paddy wasn’t mad at me at all! He was like, “How was your nap, babe? Are you feeling better? Did my Paigey drink her pain killers? ” that’s it. No “I never want you to do that to me again.” Or even a “I was upset with what you did please don’t do that again.”

I love Paddy. He’s the bestest. And I’m seeing him again this summer! Hooray!

I know I sound like the quintessential 17 year old with a boyfriend but I’m really really happy and I have no idea how long this lasts so I’m enjoying every moment.

**

I remember a time in my notso distant past that all I ever thought about was what would happen if Paddy and I broke up. I began to dissect every aspect of the relationship looking for little molehills that might turn into mountains. I was afraid he’d get someone new and ditch me or whatever. I kept thinking to myself “What if he’s not the one? OH NO! ”

Then I realized that was stupid. Really stupid. I guess now I’ve learned that you really do have to take it one day at a time. Stop thinking about the what-ifs that might never even happen. For me, what’s important is that both parties are happy in the relationship and that you have shared goals and expectations.

As far as I know, we both seem content with what we have and we both want to finish college, get jobs… and after that… who knows?

The long distance thing is hard. But look! After almost year we made it! Yay! I know long distance puts quite a strain on couples, especially new ones like ours. I was so scared at the beginning of the school year because whenever friends hear that I’m in a long-distance thing, initial reaction is usually “Mahirap ‘yan” or “Those never end well.” I think it’s done us more good actually.

You see, being away from each other, especially during the first year of college, allowed us to explore other options and experience things we wouldn’t have if we were at the same school, attached at the hip. I don’t think I’d be that open to new things or I’d have as many friends if Paddy were here. Not that he’s preventing me, but I guess it’s because of he were here, I’d focus all my attention on him instead of widening my horizons. We’d take up a lot of each other’s free time. I guess what I’m trying to say is this, the long distance allowed us to be ourselves.

To really maximize our potentials as individuals and not as a part of a couple. I was able to find out the things I want to do on my own instead of making sure Paddy was a part of every little thing I do. And despite being two, separate, and quite (different interests-wise) entities far away from each other, we managed to stay together. I guess that’s an accomplishment, more than anything else.

Congratulations to us, babe.

We deserve it.

:]

I'll get the next one

OHNOES.

MUST WATCH.

All my single ladies, how you feeling, now? :(

still a rockstar

So what if I messed up that interview? Let's not talk about it anymore because I had a lot more going on than just that. Let's count blessings?

For starters, I got into the CORPS OF SPONSORS. That in itself is a great great thing that has happened to me. I've been ushering for a number of events already, the most recent being the Pi Gamma Mu Induction Ceremony where only the supersmart kids get in. That's as close as I'll ever get to it, I guess. But whatever, if all goes well, by next year, I'd be strutting around in that fancy white uniform and those painful white shoes and loving every damned moment of it. :)

Apps night was a success. I think everone enjoyed it and I won thumbs queen! So far, I remain UNBEATABLE (except that one time, but no need to prove my worth here. EVERYONE KNOWS I KICK ASS AT THUMBS. MWAHAHAHA)The late nights, panicking, meetings and text brigades paid off.

WE ROCKED.

I HEART TEAM LOGISTICS.

<3>

We rule,bitches. :]

Invest was also super fun. EVEN if I had to fold tablecloths. :P my crush said hi [teehee] and i ate a lotta Piknik. Afterwards, Nang Joan, Rachel and I played Rock Band at Friispirit for a couple of hours. When Rachel and I left for McDo, guess who we saw there? TEIJA, AUDS, AND PORTIA! Whatta night! I had lots of fun!

All in all, this wasn't such a shitty week. I found my ring and I have my fingers crossed for tomorrow because I want to buy something but I'm not sure if it's still there so I won't mention it coz it might get jinxed,okay?? I'll let you know tomorah.

HUGSKISSESANDDRINKSONME.

Sweet 16

Okay. This is so late, i know.
But just so you know, world, that on February 26, 2009, Paddy and I have been going out for
SIXTEEN GREAT,AMAZING AND FANTASTIC MONTHS.
And I'm an incredibly happy girl.
That's all.
:]

I had to do a paper for Soc. Sci 3 on the ABCDE's of love/relationships (Attraction, Building, Continuation, Deterioration, Ending). It was due on Feb. 26 as well. How fitting.
Here it is. :)

ABC…DE?

Attraction

On the first day of class, freshman year, a good-looking boy classmate of mine was made to introduce himself by demonstrating, step-by-step, how one eats at the cafeteria. Never having had the chance to talk to him before, I never realized what a good English speaker he was. He spoke it fluently and with a great accent to boot. That was a big bonus! He was pretty good-looking too. By the time the first months of classes were over, quite a number of the higher years were already eyeing him. I knew I didn’t have a shot. I told myself he’d never go for me anyway. My proof? During tech class (this is still in first year) my guy classmates decided to quiz him on which girls in class he found attractive. He would either nod affirmatively or shake his head. I’m not exaggerating this, but since I was at that table (the only girl there, mind you), I was the last to be mentioned, maybe because they forgot I was a girl. I strongly opposed being judged! Everyone was waiting for his answer, but it didn’t take long since at the mention of my name, he almost immediately shook his head furiously! Imagine the nerve! That bastard! Needless to say, I was hell bent on ruining his life or some variation of that. I remember seeing him in school at one point (and he was looking pretty cute then), my friend and I said “Sayang, cute sana siya, kung hindi lang siya gago.”

Fast forward three years, senior year. Despite what happened in first year, we slowly became friends and by senior year, we were best friends. He would tell me all about his crushes, the girls he was going out with. These girls happened to be my friends. And I admit to being the least good-looking one in the group. It sucks being friends with good-looking people since you’re almost always over-looked and guys are bound to use you to get to them. I was okay with that set-up I guess. I’d get his crush (my roommate!) to be his prom date and stuff like that. We were best friends. Period. Then one day, the school paper decided to have a hottest couple on campus survey.

I laughingly nominated us, thinking I’d be the only one to vote for us anyway. As it turns out, we have a larger fan-base than I imagined. We got second place! Second only to the prom king and prom queen tandem (Yes, they were going out, surprise, surprise). Apparently other students noticed we had some kind of chemistry. After that I began noticing him more than just as a friend and I think he felt the same way. During one of our field trips, my friend told me he liked me. I didn’t believe her, so I decided to go up to him and ask him if he did. I was never able to ask him and I ended up running back to my room, frustrated at myself. He didn’t even go after me!

After one hour, there was a knock on our door. It was him, in the rain, and he told me yes, he liked me. More than as a friend. I stood there dumbfounded and unbelieving.

Building

We started hanging out as “more than friends but not really a couple”. It was hard to place a line since way back then we were already hanging out. We were best friends after all. There was no formal courtship thing. I knew him inside out anyway. We were both playing it coy, watching movies, trying to hold hands, blah, blah, blah. Then one day, we both kind of got fed up and we ended up kissing.

Continuation

Nine days later, he gave me his dog tags and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. We started going on dates, telling our parents and friends. We were a couple now! My first boyfriend! I was his first as well. This went on for three months.

Deterioration

Three months later, I realized I wanted to get back together with an old flame. He gave me a week to decide for sure. I was sure. I knew I wasn’t perfectly happy.

Ending

I said goodbye. I told him I needed to sort things out with myself first. The “old flame” was a good friend. He told me we weren’t going to work out. “Go back to him” he told me. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t happy.

Today, it’s been 16 months since Patrick Fortunato asked me to be his that night of October. We’re together again after that unnecessary end. We’ve had lots of fights, arguments, break-ups, but I always end up running back to him. And he’d wait. He’d always wait for me with open arms. I’m happy he never gave up. Not once. I’ve met his family and we’ve spent vacations at each other’s houses with each other’s families. We’re very happy.

The old flame? I think he’s going out with someone else. We’re good friends.

******

I'm sorry I broke up with you then.

I love you, babe.